Back again.

I ate bad & didn't feel like facing the truth. I ignored this little blog for a few days, but mostly I was ignoring a bad eating habit. The truth is, I eat terrible once a month. Once a month, when I am PMSing I eat bad but not TERRIBLE. A year ago I would of eaten TERRIBLE, but now I've learned how to let myself cheat every once in a while.

This month, on labor day, I went to a steak house with family. I felt like splurging & ordered the blue cheese steak sandwich. Holy crap is that bad for you. Turns out, I could only eat a quarter of it. My stomach just won't eat food that rich anymore, let alone beef. Honestly, I think I eat meat MAYBE once a week. Justin & I tend to eat more vegetarian, and don't seek out "not eating meat", it's just how we eat. So, I ate my quarter of the sandwich and took the rest of it home in a little styrofoam box. The next morning I woke up and threw the box in the garbage. Why eat leftovers just for the sake of eating them? Not going to happen.

Since that day I've slowly got back on track. Justin & I have been VERY busy and we haven't had time to make it to the grocery store. I've been eating low fat bean burritos for lunch for about a week now.

I went to the popcorn fest. on Saturday. I didn't eat a single thing. In fact, I bought dried veggies, dried cinnamon apples & fresh peanut butter from a booth (to bring home). That's it. After that, we went to Panera where I ate a cup of the low fat black bean soup & 1/2 a greek salad.

With time I realize that I am making smarter decisions when it comes to food. I still love food with a passion, I just love myself more.

What I ate today:

Instant Grits w/ cinnamon
Coffee w/ fat free creamer & Splenda

Low Fat bean burrito w/ salsa & black beans
Dried cinnamon apples

Hazelnut coffee from Panera w/ half and half (my little splurge every once in a while) and Splenda

Then, since I had a bridal consultation at Panera in the evening, I brought dinner home for Justin & I.

Low Fat Veggie soup & 1/2 Greek salad.
1/4 cup frozen yogurt w/ tsp. of peanut butter.


*I could live with eating only peanut butter for the rest of my life. Good protein if you don't eat much meat & fantastic fats. Yummers.

yum yum yum.

Today I made a recipe from Clean Eating Magazine for dinner: Salmon Corn Chowder & cornbread.

The Salmon Corn Chowder is only 210 calories, 4.5 grams of fat & has 3 grams of fiber in a 1 1/2 cup serving. I ate a small bowl full, but didn't go back for seconds. I was super full! Justin & I both were, which is rare. The cornbread consists of mostly corn meal & whole wheat flower. It came out to be 80 calories, 0.5 grams of fat & 3 grams of fiber for a 2 inch square. I had two servings of cornbread with my soup.

That is 4 points for my soup & 2 points for 2 servings of cornbread. That's only 6 points for dinner! Well, add another point for the grapes. That's not bad at all!!! Let me say it again, I highly recommend Clean Eating Magazine.


What I ate today:

Oatmeal w/ raisins
coffee w/ fat free creamer (all day basically)

Cashew Ginger Carrot Soup
Turkey & fat free cheddar on whole wheat bread

1 cheese stick

Salmon Corn Chowder
2 squares corn bread
a handful of grapes

1 cup of Cappuccino Chip Frozen Yogurt

The Joys of Costco!

Oh Costco, how I love thee.

I bought low fat bean burritos, 12 cans of black beans, Larabars, Naked Juice, Grapes... etc.

Today went well. All day I ate well under my points, but then Justin & I decided to splurge on a little gelato. We did so fantastic all week. I decided I'll eat the gelato & work out because of it. I have a wedding tomorrow which means I will be working my tush off... all those gelato calories will be melting right off. Nobody understands how hard us photographers work. We stand all day long, run around, do squats, hold very VERY heavy camera equipment all day long, our necks are killer by noon. We also don't get to eat all day. I am lucky if I get an energy bar on the day of a wedding. When I wake up the next morning I am so sore I can barely walk. It's a major workout. Only fellow photographers could possibly understand. One time my husband helped me at a fundraiser event & said to me, "I don't understand how you can do this all day. It's a lot of work". I guess you can say it's a labor of love.


Today I ate:

Grits & raisans
Coffee w/ splenda

garden burger & a cup of chili

low fat bean burrito & a couple baked chips w/ salsa.

gelato baby! yum :-) Ok, so I went over on my points for gelato. I'll make sure I'm strict all weekend.

The Unknown.

Today I did something that I've NEVER done before. I bought work out clothes. :-)

I'm not saying that I've never worked out. Of course I work out. I've never bought official work out clothes. I usually just put on my sexy pajama pants from 8th grade with kitty cats all over them. All of my pajamas are from 8th grade about about 4 sizes too big. I can pull all of them clear above my head. It's a hot look.

The point is, I want to start walking in the morning. I live in one of the most beautiful little towns... (excuse me, village. Oak Park is a village. Did you know that?) It is perfect for taking walks. We have lots of beautiful old houses (Frank Lloyd Wright's home & studio are in Oak Park). Eventually my goal is to jog, but I'll start slowly with walking.

So today at Old Navy I noticed that all of their work out clothing is on sale. I realized that instead of buying a cute sweater, I should probably invest my money into something that will have a positive outcome. So I bought a pair of yoga pants, walking pants, a cute zip up jacket & a orange/gray striped long sleeve shirt.

Another thing I have been thinking about a lot lately is how much I miss yoga. I haven't done yoga in SO long. I took some classes at Columbia & then I practiced it on my own afterwards. I still do it every now & then, but not on a regular basis. Oak Park has a zillion yoga studios. There's one right next door to my favorite coffee shop. I think this autumn I might swing in for a class and see if I like it.

If nothing else, it will be nice to meditate with a group again. I miss what it feels like to be in a room of many "OM's". The way you can feel the vibrations straight to your core. I love meditating and have been doing it for some time now. I had an amazing connection with one of my teachers at Columbia and after class was over we remained fantastic friends. She's an older woman with beautiful curly gray hair & a lifetime of amazing stories to tell. She invited me over for tea one afternoon, taught me to meditate & I haven't looked back. It is honestly the most amazing experience & I encourage everyone to try to meditate. It teaches you how to clear your mind & live in the now. Something we all need to learn to do more often.

What I ate today:

Fiber One cereal w/ light soy milk

Coffee, basically all day w/ splenda.

Lean Cuisine (only 4 points)
Sugar free rice pudding cup

Ate a couple almonds as a snack

Dinner at Panera: Half Asian Chicken Salad & Black Bean Soup ( ONLY 10 WW POINTS!- for reals.)

I think I ate under my points for today. That's crazy.

One more for today!

I wanted to write a list of the food I ate today. Justin & I both attribute our weight loss to a giant list of things & one of those things is writing down what you eat every single day. It's easy to ignore the times you've cheated, if you don't have to confess them, even to yourself. So here's my list of food for today.

-Fiber One Cereal w/ light soy milk
-2 cups of coffee w/ Splenda coffee flavors & light soy milk

-Stuffed Cabbage Lean Cuisine
-1 tsp of "Better than peanut butter": THE BEST PEANUT BUTTER EVER! low in calories, fat & sodium! It's a miracle.

-1 buttered popcorn rice cake as a snack.

-1 turkey sandwhich w/ fat free cheddar, light mayo, mustard on whole wheat bread.
- Justin & I split a plate of fresh home grown tomato & green pepper slices.
-1 serving of the Trader Joes marinated fava beans (YUM!!!)
-1 sugar free rice pudding cup

Now, I'm finishing off the evening with a glass of red wine. Ravenswood Cab.

Not bad.

Photographs.

Every week Robin takes a test photo of me at the wedding. I have a small collection of them now. I'll have to dig through and find the photos from when I weighed a lot more. Here are two recent ones. I still have a hard time realizing that that's me in those photos. My silhouette is a lot more slender than it used to be. Having these photos makes me want to keep going.

I've never been the person who hates having their photo taken. I know what I look like. I know that every single day everyone sees what I look like. I think that people who hate having photos taken of themselves are just denying the flaws they see in themselves, that they refuse to work on.




Me at the Palmer House, getting ready to shoot a ceremony.



Me (center) at the River East Art Center, pretending to be the Bride & Groom. Chrissy is pretending to be the drunk guests holding sparklers above their heads. It makes for a pretty shot. But it sure it rather dangerous.

That's it.

I've made hardly any progress in the last year. I'm sure it has to do with the stress of moving out & paying bills. It also has to do with the fact that I work from home & it takes a lot of effort for me to get up & get things done. It's not like I eat terrible. I still eat good. I cheat a lot more often & haven't been counting points lately. Lets just say I've figured out how to maintain my current weight. Which I guess is good, but I'm not happy with my current weight.


I now weigh 197. Before I started this weight loss shenanigans, I weighed 275.

My goal would be to weight 150. I think I can obtain that.

All I need to do is start blogging again, keep track of my points & stop going out to eat! It's not that hard. I did it before. I know I can do it.