Today was the first time I've tried on wedding dresses. It was the most depressing experience of my life. Not only did I not really find anything I liked, everything looked terrible on me. I felt like a ridiculous fat bride and that my bridemaids and my guests are all going to look much more beautiful then I will on my wedding day. It's very discouraging.
Justin lost 4 more pounds... I gained a pound. He also ate 2 hot dogs and french fries on Saturday. This isn't fucking fair. I should just give up. I'm going to just be fat forever, aren't I?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
conflict...
It's not hard to eat healthy anymore. I'm past the point where I feel like I am denying myself. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I had a set back this week. I was on my period. Not only was I crabby, but incredibly bloated. The scale told me I didn't lose anything this week. I did really well too. I'm hoping this week goes a lot better and I don't give this up. This is very important to me.
I haven't allowed myself to buy any new clothing until I get down to my June goal- 40 pounds. Since, I've been dreaming of clothing. My ultimate dream is to be able to shop at Anthropologie. I want to own a dress from Anthropologie. Being able to wear a dress from there for my shower would be the ultimate dream come true.
(Anthropologie dress)
It's very hard to love fashion and be fat. I have tons of skinny friends that can wear whatever they want, and they buy boring clothing. I'm so jealous!
I haven't allowed myself to buy any new clothing until I get down to my June goal- 40 pounds. Since, I've been dreaming of clothing. My ultimate dream is to be able to shop at Anthropologie. I want to own a dress from Anthropologie. Being able to wear a dress from there for my shower would be the ultimate dream come true.
(Anthropologie dress)
It's very hard to love fashion and be fat. I have tons of skinny friends that can wear whatever they want, and they buy boring clothing. I'm so jealous!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Inspiration.
Today is bad because I am in the midst of my monthly woman duty & I feel incredibly bloated.
I haven't bought a new bathing suit since I was in 8th grade. Yes, I have owned and swam in the same bathing suit since I was 14. Can you believe that's almost 10 years? In fact, it's a black bathing suit with white polka dots, a little skirt & a nice giant hole in it's gauzy lining. It's hot. I even got it from walmart. The fact is, I haven't felt the need to buy a bathing suit in nearly 10 years because I don't swim.... not in front of other people that is.
I'm losing weight for myself- so that I can swim this summer.
I want this bathing suit because it's hot & funky.
I haven't bought a new bathing suit since I was in 8th grade. Yes, I have owned and swam in the same bathing suit since I was 14. Can you believe that's almost 10 years? In fact, it's a black bathing suit with white polka dots, a little skirt & a nice giant hole in it's gauzy lining. It's hot. I even got it from walmart. The fact is, I haven't felt the need to buy a bathing suit in nearly 10 years because I don't swim.... not in front of other people that is.
I'm losing weight for myself- so that I can swim this summer.
I want this bathing suit because it's hot & funky.
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