It's been a while!

I am back! My life has been pretty crazy lately. Work has been busy (not complaining about that) and I moved back to Indiana from Illinois. Since I have been making some good money work wise, Justin & I have decided to not rent anymore but move in with my parents and save money for a house.

So in the whole stressful moving process, I did not diet one bit. I stepped on the scale this morning to check out how much I have gained. I was 203 pounds. That's basically a 10 pound gain. I can deal with that.

I started back up this week with eating better & exercising. I've always really enjoyed jogging and it's been a dream of mine to be able to run long distances. So, I started up the "Couch to 5K" program this week. It gives you weekly workouts that build up your endurance & by the end of the program you should be capable of jogging 3 miles at a time without stopping.

I'm sick of giving myself weight loss goals. Because when I don't reach them quickly, I get discouraged. I'm going to tell myself to eat healthy & make sure I exercise. If the weight comes off as a result of that then it will be a plus.

Baby?! Not yet.

So this last month Justin & I tried to make a baby. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. The birth month of our child has to be somewhat planned because I am a photographer. I can't be 8 months pregnant & photographing a wedding. I can't risk missing a wedding that I am contractually obligated to be at because I am pushing a baby out of my vajayjay. SO- with all that said, we discuss what months are best to start trying based on the delivery date. Ideally I would be giving birth to our child between the months of October-March. We discovered that if we made a baby this month the due date of the child would be in March which we assumed would be an awesome time for me to be pregnant & have a baby. So we tried. No luck though. I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be when I read "not pregnant" on the test. The universe will give me a baby when I am ready. Right now is not the time.

Since I have decided to take this as a sign, we are going to wait until the end of the year to start trying again. Until then I'd like to kick this weight loss into super high gear & get rid of the extra 50 pounds I have been wanting to get rid of for 3 years now. I'd say 6 months is a safe amount of time to lose 50 pounds. I can manage 10 pounds a month! There are a few reasons for this. Let me list them off to you.

#1- I have decided 100% that I would like to have a completely natural birth experience. My family makes fun of me that I would give birth to my child in the backyard if I could. My friends already think that I am going to be annoying when pregnant, loving every uncomfortable second of it. I am not one bit afraid of giving birth. In fact, I whole heartedly regret not going to school to become a midwife. Since it is important for me to have a natural birth, I think that losing the last 50 pounds is going to make that more of a possibility.

#2- OK, number 2 is really vain but I want to be a cute pregnant lady. I can't help it. I love fashion. I love maternity fashion. I want to still look in style when pregnant & being 50 pounds less would make that easier as well.

So, I will start tomorrow. After I finish this beer. :-)

Journaling.

How did I gain 2 pounds? I'm hoping it's muscle cause I feel amazing! I feel thinner & clothes fit better. I have been working out daily with a set of dumb bells, so my guess is that it's muscle.

I started logging my food again today. I'm trying to experiment with how my body reacts to food. If I end up losing a good amount of weight one week, I can look back at what I ate & try and repeat it.

I'm trying to stick around 300 calories per meal w/ 100 calorie snacks in between. That seems healthy.

For breakfast I made my smoothie. I was amazed to see that it had 30 grams of protein in it. That's a lot! I had it directly after my weights workout, and am going to try and continue that trend. I could drink this smoothie everyday for the rest of my life, it is that delicious.

1 cup frozen fruit (I use strawberries that I picked)
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/2 cup coconut milk
1 dropper of Stevia
1 scoop 365 Whey Protein Powder
1 scoop Super Grass Chocolate Powder

Soooooo gooooood. It comes to about 300 calories, 4 grams of fat, 7 grams of fiber and 30 grams of protein. It's very good for you too!

Tonight after dinner I'm going to make Justin do a looooong workout with me. He's in for a world of hurt.

1 Pound!

Woohoo! 194.0 this morning! haha It's sad that I am so excited for 1 pound. I feel really good though, which I think is more important then only losing 1 pound. I'm starting week 4 of clean eating. It's going very well.

My newest goal is to get out of the "obese" category and into the "overweight" category. That means I have to get down to 175. I think that's pretty obtainable.

Need to add more exercise!!!

Stuck.

Still at 195. Have been for 2 weeks now. Not really sure why. I eat fabulously! I'm going to try and remain patient & just stick to the plan. Maybe it needs a few weeks.

I've been as low as 189. Trying to get back there.

I need to start a food journal & write in it about what I ate, why I made those decisions and see if there is a pattern to what I am eating & when I am losing.

Today I ate:

1/2 an avocado on Ezekiel sprouted grain toast.
Medium decaf coffee w/ skim milk.
1 homemade strawberry mango popsicle (made with stevia & agave nectar)
1 sweet potato, 1 cup fresh green beans & a palm sized piece of pork loin.
handful of strawberries & a homemade strawberry grain sweetened chocolate flourless muffin.
cup of decaf while working w/ coconut milk & stevia. (More coffee today then I have had in a week)


Conclusion:

I should of ate more meals today but my schedule was off. I woke up late, had a meeting around 2... so I didn't eat lunch. Had a popsicle snack instead- which isn't terrible since it is full of real strawberries and mangoes. I try and have one salad daily & skipped out on that today. More greens and fiber tomorrow!

Clean Eating Week 3

So, the first 2 weeks of clean eating went well. I've lost some weight & feel a lot better. I made it through 3 parties without eating sugar and then last night I caved in. A friend of Justin's got him some chocolate covered caramel apples as a gift. We put them in the freezer to hide them. You know, out of sight our of mind. Last night we had friends over to get dinner & watch The Killing. We went to a Mexican fusion restaurant in Oak Park & ate out on the patio. I did good. I got the salmon which came with roasted corn, asparagus and sweet potatoes. It was delicious. When we got home we took the caramel apples out to share with our guests. I didn't have any intention of eating them. Then, when our guests left & the apples were sitting there on the counter I grabbed a piece... then I went back for another... and another... and another. Finally I yelled to Justin "get rid of these before I eat them all" and he said, "throw them away!". I feel bad throwing away a gift like that, but in the garbage they went.

I felt really guilty for cheating on my diet. I got a tummy ache shortly after & woke up with heart burn.

This week is week 3 & I have decided to add a little more exercise in to jump start my weight loss. I did 30 minutes today. Anything counts. I felt like I was going to die.

Clean Eating- Day 1

So, Justin & I are both going to commit to eating a little more cleanly. It mainly consists of cutting out foods that are heavily processed & eliminating sugar (you can have natural unprocessed sugar- like fruit & raw honey) and white flour.

It's kind of amazing how it makes you realize how you depend on processed foods merely on convenience. Nobody actually makes their own food anymore. Grocery store aisles are lined with mostly processed food and only a small part of the store is fresh produce. Not only that but why is fresh food so much more money?

My body doesn't react well to processed food- especially foods with white flour. Every time in my life where I have gone a long period of time with eating nonprocessed foods and eliminating sugar, I have had amazing results. I needed a little push this time so I asked Justin to join me.

Last night we went shopping and stocked up on all the foods we will be needing. I also spent a good 2 hours preparing our lunches for the week. That's kind of what amazed me the most. You know, actually spending time to prepare the food I put into my body. I guess we don't do that often.

Today has been good so far. I eat continuously on this diet.

For breakfast I had a pumpkin smoothie which consisted of pumpkin puree, whey protein powder, 1/4 cup dry oatmeal, flaxseed oil, liquid stevia & pumpkin pie spice (cinnamon/ginger/nutmeg/clove). It was good & very filling.

Lunch is soooo delicious. We made a huge portion of barley salad last night. It's barley, peas, carrots, tomatoes, green peppers, feta & a shitake vinegarette w/ dill. It's a cold salad that you put on top of greens with a little bit of hummus. I made roasted garlic hummus last night. It's amazing.

I think one of the things that is going to be hard for us is getting over eating dessert after dinner every. single. night. We would have a skinny cow, or some fat free ice cream... so much processed food w/ lots of sugar!

I'll keep up with this.

Tonight is a whole grain pasta with pumpkin/tomatoes/turkey/squash.

Eating Clean + Weights

I've been trying to eat a lot more clean lately. I feel like switching that part of my diet up is going to help my body lose weight faster. No more sugar free pudding cups!

It's amazing how beautiful your food is when you eat cleanly. I look at my prepared meals and think, "wow how pretty". My breakfast remains the same because it was always very clean. One Siggi's yogurt w/ some blueberries & Fiber One cereal. I put about a tablespoon of honey on top of that as well to sweeten it. Lunch has always been hard for me. I work from home so I have a plethora of options. Lately I've been baking a piece of fish and layering it on top of salad. Today I did a flounder filet w/ paprika on top of a bed of greens, walnuts & peas. It was so pretty! I also had half of a grapefruit as an afternoon snack.

I've also successfully cut out caffeinated coffee from my life. My husband is kind of amazed by that. I drink decaf now & not as much as I did before.

I've been doing more weight training along with cardio. I need to join the gym but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Soon I will!

My body feels good, so that's what I'm going to focus on the most. If I keep up with it, I know the pounds will drop.

Rough.

It was a hard week for me last week. I don't think I did bad eating but I sure as hell didn't work out. Justin was in Boston for 4 days and I was so bored & sad without him. I'm also on my period. I feel so gross when I am on my period. I usually let myself eat a little worse & not work out. I'll let myself have the easy week. I don't think I gained but I'm not weighing myself until after my period. I can game up to 10 pounds around that time of the month & I don't feel like discouraging myself.

I am joining the gym this week though. So I am pretty excited about that.

GYM!

I'm going to join a freaking gym. I am so intimidated by them so I haven't joined. I keep trying to talk my roomies into joining but none of them are proactive about it. I'm tired of waiting, so I'm just going to do it. I need NEED to lose this last 40. At least it's only 40 now.

194.

I lost a couple more pounds. The scale is still not moving as much as I'd like it to. It's not reflecting how hard I am working. I am working much harder then the first time I lost weight & it's a lot harder to lose. I took this photo in a fitting room to send to my sister & ask for her opinion on whether or not I should buy it. I think I look like I've lost weight in this photo. I think that I must be losing inches and not pounds. I'm just going to keep trying & not give up. On Tuesday I am going to the Y to meet up w/ someone who works there. She is going to set me up on her workout plan & give me a little advice on what I should be doing. I hope that helps. I think that I need to add more strength training to my workout because I have 0% muscle mass. I read that women do not burn as many calories as men because they have less muscle mass. I wish it were as easy to lose weight as it is to gain it!

1 POUND!

It's pretty sad that I am this excited about 1 pound but the scale hasn't budged in forever. I am also smack dab in the middle of my period so I'm hoping that when I'm done, my body will drop a little more. I've successfully worked out everyday this week so far. I just hope I start seeing some more results.

Discouraged.

I have literally been 198 for 2, maybe 3 weeks now. I'm not sure what else I should be doing. I eat about 900 calories every single day & I work out for 20-40 minutes daily w/ cardio & sometimes w/ 5 pound weights. I have no idea what to do! Last time I was trying, the weight was just falling off. Maybe my body just needs to get used to this. I'm going to give it more time. I'm just not sure what else I could possibly do. Work out for 2 hours everyday? That would kill me!

Scale Hate!

I have been doing this for a month and the scale isn't budging much! It's weird cause I FEEL like I've lost weight. My clothes fit a million times better and I just feel more energetic. I have no idea why the scale isn't reflecting this. I'm hoping for a difference next week. I worked out almost every day this week & ate 900 calories and under. W/ working out that means I only ate about 500-600 calories a day. This weight has to drop a little! My realistic goal is 175 by my birthday on April 16th. That is 23 pounds. I think I can accomplish that. That's 78 days away. That is about a half a pound a week. I hope I can do that!

Yogurt & Babies

OK yogurt. I have a love/hate relationship with you. Some days you taste good but most of the time I have to choke you down. Today I mixed sugar free chocolate pudding with my yogurt. The thing is, my body absolutely DEMANDS that I eat yogurt on a regular basis. I got a yeast infection this week. I would say that is probably the 6th+ vaginal infection I have gotten over the last year. I even take femdopholus which is a higher strain of probiotic bacteria. That's how much my vagina hates me. My guess is that it is a reaction to the enormous amount of sugar I ate over the holidays. I literally just had way too much sugar.

In other news, I met with a midwife today to have a pap smear and a preconception consultation. I just want to make sure I am doing everything I need to be doing to prep my body for a baby. I've been doing a lot of research on doctors in the area & asking other moms who they went to (which is where being a photographer of little kids is kinda helpful). I decided on a group of midwives in Oak Park that have alternative birthing rooms at a hospital. They are overseen by a doctor while in the hospital, but you see them through out our pregnancy and labor. My plan is to have a completely drug free delivery. I do not want to be hooked up to a zillion things & I want to bring my baby into the world while being able to actually feel the delivery (no numb legs please!). I know that you can never fully plan a pregnancy & that there are bound to be surprises, but as of right now I feel pretty positive about where things are.

I'm losing weight though, so that's positive. I'm not sure exactly how much I am down but I am finally under 200 again, so that's good. My goal is 150!

Steaks!

Tonight's dinner was tasty. It was as follows.

Salad w/ tomatoes
Sweet potatoes- baked w/ various toppings (Can't believe it's not butter, cinnamon & sugar free maple syrup)
Top Sirloin Steak
Horseradish, mushrooms & onions

Soooo good. I was surprised that all of us only ate half of our steaks. It's amazing what only 2 weeks of dieting does to your stomach.

Alex & I worked out this morning. Warm up, CardioMax level 2 & cool down. After dinner, Ben & Justin worked out. Then we all had a dessert. Mine was my trusty mug of almond milk hot chocolate sweetened w/ truvia.

We're doing good.

Livestrong!

I love Livestrong!

It makes me so happy when every single one of my days for the last 2 weeks has looked like this.



Here's an example of what I eat. Notice there's no breakfast. I woke up late because I worked really late, so I skipped that. I always allow myself a treat in the evening. It seems to be the ONLY thing that helps. I also do not include the cream I put in my coffee cause I will always allow fat free half & half and as many truvia packets as I need. I also only have one cup in the morning & then drink water for the rest of the day. If I'm wanting to munch on something really late into the night I drink caffeine free tea. It keeps my mouth busy. haha

I had a lot more carbs today then I usually do but I wanted to allow myself some so I wouldn't freak out.

Tonight's treat was a pudding cup w/ 1/2 a cup of fiber one cereal and 1/2 a banana. So tasty! I didn't include the pudding on my livestrong log because the total of calories for my Panera soup is actually incorrect on livestrong... it's 60 calories less on Panera's website.

My Savior.

Hot Chocolate

1 Cup unsweetened Almond Milk
1 TBL. unsweetened cocoa powder
2 Truvia packets
a dash of extract (vanilla, almond or coconut)

55 glooooorious and life saving calories. :-)

Back... again!

OK, enough of this. It's time I lose the last 50 pounds to reach my goal of 150 pounds. I have many motivating factors behind this.

- I'm going to Costa Rica in June to visit my friend who has been living there for almost 3 years now. I haven't gone to visit her yet because I refuse to wear a bathing suit in public.

- I've wanted a half sleeve tattoo for the longest time but I refuse to get a tattoo on my fat arms. I've already even talked to my tattoo artist and everything. Time to get this going.

- I want to have a baby. I know I'm at a better weight right now then I was at 300 pounds to conceive a child, but I am still at high risk. I would like to have a child before I am 30 but in order to do that I need to lose these last 50 pounds.

So far our entire house is doing so well. My brother in law Ben & friend Alex are getting married in the fall of 2012. They both want to lose weight so as an entire house we've decided to do it together (we all live together in 1 big house). It's been so great having double the amount of support I had the first time around. Everyday Alex & I work out together. We switch it up. We rotate between Jillian Michaels, Biggest Loser, Pilates, Yoga & Jackie Warner. On days I am in Indiana doing laundry or visiting, I jog on the treadmill for a mile. We all track our calorie intake on livestrong.com & consult each other about what we ate during the day & work together to make our dinners healthy. It's kind of amazing to live with a giant support team. We've all lost weight already. I refuse to get on the scale until February 1st because I don't want to know how much I gained over Christmas. I let myself go a little more crazy then usual. 2010 was a bad year for me but I'm looking positively at what new adventures 2011 will bring.